WHY BEING TOO MUCH IS A WONDERFUL THING (+ HOW TO DEAL WITH HATERS)
I had a close friend who told me that I was too much.
It wasn't meant as an insult. In fact, I think it was meant as a compliment, but I remember the emphasis on how I was too much for other people. It was as if my interests and passions were inconvenient for the rest of the world.
Have you even been told this? It could be as simple as a whispered, snarky comment when you're talking about you're new hobby, or perhaps a friend who doesn't want to hang out anymore because you take your interests too seriously.
It's my job in this post to tell you that you're not too much. You're just right.
I've struggled with this a lot, if you couldn't tell. I take my work, and my life, seriously, and I rarely do anything half-assed. This annoys a lot of people, though I could never understand why.
I dabble in a million things because I'm interested in the fullness of my experiences: I'm here, ready to explore, and that's what I'm going to do.
You don't have to be exactly like me, but if you're reading this post, I bet someone has made you feel that for some reason, being yourself is uncomfortable for other people.
YOU DO YOU, GIRL
I'm not going to lie to you: sometimes it's hard. I've had people laugh in my face. I've even had people tell me I'm annoying, just for being excited about something.
Don't give up.
If you try and bring down your own zest for life, you'll make yourself miserable, and the bickering of other people probably still won't stop. I tried the whole fitting in thing. Not only did I feel even more out of place and ridiculous, but other people felt it, too. They even let me know it.
WAVE YOUR TOO MUCH FLAG
Wave it high. Don't apologize. It's not your job to make other people comfortable. It's your job to live.
This doesn't just apply to your habits and your interests. Every little quirky thing about you that makes you you, everything that someone else might say makes you a freak, is perfect.
We're not all made the same on purpose. You're supposed to be the unique person that you are. What makes you different is exactly what allows you to contribute to the world in a way that nobody else can.
Let's count a few ways that your too muchness makes you awesome (+ make sure to subscribe to my monthly newsletter for updates on content like this, join me on social media + share this post if you found it helpful.):
You have a unique perspective
The fact that you're not afraid to be who you are honors your past. We all came from different backgrounds that shaped us.
By being your authentic self, you let the world glimpse the past in the beautiful, living you. This comes out in the way your past shapes how you think, your perspectives, your goals and dreams. You contribute to society the way that no one else can.
Don't be silent, and don't damp yourself down, just because you feel other people won't like it. It's their problem, not yours.
You have a real passion for life
Being you shows your zeal. When you're not afraid to be yourself, you show that you're not afraid of life. You're not afraid to face the challenges it may throw your way.
The great thing about this is that even if you feel ostracized at first, eventually your energy will speak to those who will appreciate and love you for who you are.
Patience. There are those who love you. Just don't forget that it's your self-love that's drawing them to you.
You're not boring
Bingo. You're not cookie cutter.
The fact that you aren't boring will leak into your work, your relationships, everything. Someone who doesn't understand you, but is confident in themselves, will still appreciate the fact that you're different.
Those that try to bring you down aren't trying to understand you: there's some insecurity that your uniqueness is sparking in them. But, let's face it: it's not your job to please them.
Your uniqueness will bring something to each person's life that no one else can give them. Don't be afraid of the way that you can touch someone with your presence. It's your gift.
BUT, JUST IN CASE, HERE'S THREE PICK ME UP'S
For those days when the flag's limp and your arm hurts, here's three ways to keep yourself going:
LOOK UP YOUR HEROES
Look up your inspirations, the people whose careers and lives you admire. Read their biographies, anything you can get your hands on. I guarantee you'll read about the un-glamorous struggles of your idols, the ways they were rejected and told they weren't enough.
Stephen King used to nail stacks of rejection letters to his wall. It's encouraging and inspiring, in a morbid way.
turn no's into not yets
Learn to beat negativity at the start. Not everyone is going to understand you or want to. Sometimes not fitting in means being rejected from certain opportunities.
This isn't the end, and it isn't a no. It's just a not yet. Stay strong and move on. You attract the energy you give you: eventually the people that will support you will come along. And, hey, a lot of times your rejectors turn around, too.
Turning that negativity into something positive and hopeful keeps your spark alive. Remember, in most things in life: it's not a no. It's a not yet.
RELAX, RELAX, RELAX
Remember to breathe, take it easy, and relax. We all need a rest every now and then. Take a night off, listen to music that makes you feel good, run a bath. Clear your mind from everything that weighs you down and reset.
I have a Pinterest board all about Relaxation Rituals if you need some inspiration!
or, worst comes to worst, YOU COULD ALWAYS JUST TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF
I save this for the ones who really deserve it, you know?
FURTHER READING: 5 WAYS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF
Has anyone ever told you you're too much? How do you feel about it?